The Echoes
An Echo · v1.00
THE HOUSE OF ZAN — Zan
Companion track: “Take Me Out” – Franz Ferdinand
That’s why it’s easier to find myself here than there.
Because getting back to there usually means going back to where it started, from a place that makes the past look too blurry to claim exactly as it was.
When I think about it now, the times when the moment feels as real as if I were still there, it’s like I’m watching a clip of something I was part of.
Something that can never be changed.
Something that can never be lived again.
It’s a moment.
An era.
A perspective no one else has or will ever have.
It makes me sad.
It… just kind of makes me sad.
When I went back after graduation to pick up my “bag” and say goodbye to someone I should have kept closer with than the technology of the time allowed.
When I discovered that I should have been hanging out more with girls, geeks, or outcasts instead of the same assholes I had been with for most of my high school years.
When I felt how betrayed a friend was, accepted that anger as my own, and acted accordingly in their honor, when I should not have involved myself any further.
The countless times during high school when the teachers took a sabbatical and threw on a VHS of Remember the Titans or Shrek for the sixth time.
The time I walked into the auditorium and someone was testing the microphone while setting up, singing a rough version of “She Hates Me” by Puddle of Mudd.
The time I couldn’t watch The Matrix Reloaded in theaters when it was first released, so I found someone who did and made them tell me the whole movie in great detail for an hour.
When getting a bootleg copy of The Eminem Show from a drug dealer for $20.00, which I reluctantly paid in quarters, made me feel like a boss for a day.
When a printed pornographic image passed around felt like magic because it had been downloaded on dial-up.
When I would take the long way to the next class by going out the back doors and around the entire building because there was less foot traffic.
The time I was way too young to understand anything about sexuality or cringe and would call the male student teacher “cute” and tell my classmates they “should be good students, darn-it.”
When I would do show-and-tell every single time and do Jeff Foxworthy jokes that sometimes I didn’t understand, but the teacher did, and she laughed hysterically until I was told to please take a seat.
When I first entered my kindergarten classroom, late, on day one, and there was only one table left.
One seat.
It was full of girls, one of whom was crying, only to tell me to shut up when I tried to comfort her.
It’s the moments you realize will stay with you forever.
I know I won’t be leaving this moment without forgetting to remember it.
The Echoes · An Echo
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