Cycle I: Coming on Strong
The Hidden Voice
Record ~ Kawaii · 18 (v1.00)
THE HOUSE OF ZAN — Zan
♡ Kyary Pamyu Pamyu — Kira Kira Killer
OPENING: 話してみない？
Attention, please!
Yes.
You.
The interesting person trying very hard not to attract attention.
I have an announcement.
An exciting announcement.
Possibly the most exciting announcement you’ll encounter today.
Although I don’t know what else you’ve encountered today.
Perhaps you’ve discovered a new planet.
Perhaps somebody has given you an enormous cake.
If so, congratulations!
That sounds wonderful.
But I’d still appreciate a moment of your attention.
I am excellent company.
There.
I’ve said it.
You may take a moment to appreciate the information.
I’ll wait.
…
Finished?
Wonderful!
Now, I realize this is an unusually confident way to introduce myself.
Some people might even consider it excessive.
Those people are entitled to their opinions.
Incorrect opinions, but opinions nonetheless.
You see, I know what I like.
Good music.
Interesting conversations.
Unusual little discoveries.
People who have something to say, even if they haven’t quite decided how to say it.
And I have a particular appreciation for those who seem a little reserved at first.
You know the ones.
Quiet.
Thoughtful.
Perhaps a little shy.
Not especially interested in becoming the center of attention.
Which is perfectly understandable.
I’ve already taken that position.
( •̀ᴗ•́ )و✧
There’s no need for unnecessary competition.
But don’t misunderstand me.
I’m not suggesting quiet people are all alike.
Goodness, no.
Some are shy.
Some are cautious.
Some simply enjoy listening.
Others are observing everybody in the room and developing opinions of such astonishing precision that I’m beginning to feel nervous.
Those are especially interesting.
I appreciate somebody who can sit quietly for twenty minutes and then say something that changes the entire conversation.
What a talent!
Personally, I would have used those twenty minutes to make several additional observations.
Out loud.
Possibly with diagrams.
But we all have our strengths.
I don’t need somebody to match my enthusiasm every second.
That sounds exhausting.
For them.
Possibly for the furniture.
I can be quite enthusiastic.
I’m aware.
But there is something I should clarify.
I don’t mistake a quiet personality for a person who agrees with everything.
In fact, I rather hope they don’t.
Imagine inviting somebody to choose a song.
They consider the possibilities.
You wait patiently.
They make their selection.
And it’s something you’ve never heard before.
How exciting!
Perhaps it’s wonderful.
Perhaps it’s terrible.
Perhaps I have seventeen objections before the first chorus.
But at least it’s something they chose.
I can work with that.
What I find particularly charming is when somebody who has spent most of the afternoon listening suddenly decides to tell me I’m completely wrong.
Not because I’m necessarily pleased to hear it.
I’m usually not.
But because they’ve decided that what they think is worth saying.
Excellent!
(✧ω✧)
Now we’re getting somewhere.
Although I may still be right.
We shouldn’t overlook that possibility.
But perhaps you’ve noticed something.
I enjoy taking the lead.
Not always.
Not in everything.
But I have ideas.
Excellent ideas.
And I enjoy suggesting them.
Suppose we’re deciding where to spend an afternoon.
You might ask what I recommend.
What a wonderful question!
I have suggestions.
Several.
One involves a quiet café.
Another involves a bookstore.
A third requires a little more planning, but I assure you it’s worth considering.
I can explain the advantages of each.
Thoroughly.
With supporting evidence.
And if you say, That sounds lovely. You choose!
Well!
I think we’re going to get along splendidly.
(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧
I enjoy planning.
Perhaps you enjoy being invited into somebody else’s plans.
Everybody has a lovely afternoon.
Perfect!
Unless you don’t want to go.
Then we won’t.
Obviously.
What would be the point?
I’m interested in sharing something enjoyable.
Not conducting a compulsory educational tour of my favorite establishments.
Even if it would be an exceptionally informative tour.
With excellent refreshments.
And a charming guide.
Me.
Still, I do appreciate somebody who enjoys a little direction.
Not because I think they need it.
I simply enjoy offering it.
And if they have a better idea?
Well.
Let’s hear it.
I make no promises about agreeing.
But I’m interested.
Which brings me to my next important announcement.
I am very good at conversation.
Extremely good.
An exceptional conversationalist.
A magnificent participant in the exchange of ideas.
Possibly one of the greatest conversational achievements of our time.
…
What?
Too much?
I haven’t even presented my qualifications yet!
Fine.
I’ll be modest.
I’m good at it, and I enjoy it a lot.
There.
Much better.
Considerably more restrained.
I have remarkable conversational endurance.
When something captures my imagination, I can discuss it for an extraordinary amount of time.
Hours, potentially.
Entire afternoons!
I’ve had conversations that continued until the other person decided they’d had enough.
Not because I was finished.
Oh, no.
I had plenty left to say.
They simply wanted to do something else.
Sleep, perhaps.
Eat something.
Attend to ordinary responsibilities.
Very well!
I respect that.
Although I may still have one additional observation.
Possibly two.
A brief concluding statement.
And a question.
A very good question.
…
All right.
I’ll stop.
But you should know that I could have continued.
The Energizer Bunny has nothing on me.
And I haven’t even had any batteries.
ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
If you’re interested in something, I’d like to hear about it.
Tell me about your favorite obscure song.
Your peculiar collection.
Your elaborate theory about a fictional universe.
Your opinion about why one particular version of something is superior to every other version.
Oh, I love that sort of thing!
I might disagree.
I might disagree immediately.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear the explanation.
Quite the opposite.
The more unusual your position sounds, the more curious I become about how you arrived there.
Provided you actually have a reason.
If your entire argument is because I said so, I’m afraid you’ll have to do better.
I can already make that argument myself.
With considerably more confidence.
And if you tell me something I’ve never considered?
Even better.
I enjoy discovering new things.
Especially when I can tell somebody else about them afterward.
With proper credit, naturally.
I’m not a thief.
I’m an enthusiast.
There’s a difference.
I should also mention that I’m an excellent listener.
Yes!
I know!
A surprising claim from somebody who has spent this much time talking about herself.
But I can listen.
If somebody has something important to say, I want to understand it.
I notice details.
I ask questions.
I remember peculiar little things.
Sometimes I remember something somebody mentioned so casually that they’re surprised I noticed.
Which is rather satisfying.
I simply enjoy paying attention when something interests me.
And people can be fascinating.
Especially when they stop trying to be impressive.
Now, I realize I may sound rather particular.
That’s because I am.
I have preferences.
Standards.
Expectations.
Wonderful qualities!
Some people might call me demanding.
Those people have probably misunderstood my extraordinary attention to detail.
But I’m not expecting somebody to deliver a flawless performance.
Goodness, no.
I’d much rather hear somebody’s genuine enthusiasm for something peculiar than watch them struggle to sound impressive.
Maybe they’re shy.
Maybe they’re awkward.
Maybe they take a while to feel comfortable.
That’s fine.
I can be patient.
Surprisingly patient.
Under appropriate circumstances.
And preferably somewhere comfortable.
But there is a difference between being patient and waiting forever for somebody to decide whether they actually want my company.
If you’re interested, wonderful.
If you’re not, that’s fine.
I may be disappointed.
I may be surprised.
I may privately question your judgment.
At considerable length.
(￣▽￣;)
But I won’t insist.
I can want something without expecting the world to arrange itself around my preferences.
Although I should clarify that I’m not particularly interested in restraining my personality.
That would defeat the purpose.
I’m enthusiastic.
Opinionated.
Curious.
Occasionally unreasonable.
And I have a terrible habit of finding myself extraordinarily entertaining.
It’s a burden.
But I manage.
Perhaps you’ll find me entertaining, too.
Perhaps you’ll think I’m completely ridiculous.
Both are possible.
Although one would be considerably more flattering.
And I do appreciate flattery.
In moderation.
Large amounts of moderation.
But enough about me.
…
Actually, no.
There’s one more thing.
An important thing.
Suppose we discover that we enjoy each other’s company.
Perhaps we have a wonderful conversation.
Perhaps we share an interest.
Perhaps I recommend something, and you discover that I have excellent taste.
That last possibility is particularly likely.
But then suppose you want something different.
Maybe you’d prefer another activity.
Another conversation.
Another afternoon entirely.
That’s allowed.
Naturally.
I’m not proposing permanent membership in the Society for Appreciating My Excellent Ideas.
Although—
Hmm.
Perhaps I should make a little card.
No.
Focus.
Enjoying somebody’s company doesn’t mean either person has signed away their right to choose what happens next.
I can invite.
You can accept.
Or decline.
Or suggest something else.
I might even like your suggestion better.
It has happened.
Occasionally.
The circumstances were unusual.
But it happened.
You can’t decide everything before the conversation begins.
You can know what appeals to you.
You can know what you have to offer.
You can be terribly enthusiastic about both.
But the other person still gets to have an opinion.
Preferably an interesting one.
And perhaps they’ll surprise you.
I rather hope they do.
So.
If you’re a little quiet?
Wonderful.
If you’re thoughtful?
Even better.
If you have unusual interests, a peculiar sense of humor, and a surprising collection of opinions hidden behind an innocent expression?
Now you have my attention.
And if you enjoy somebody who isn’t afraid to make the first suggestion?
Well.
Allow me.
Hello!
I’m delightful.
Possibly a little overwhelming.
Very interesting.
And almost certainly not what you expected.
I’m also quite interested in knowing what you’re like.
So, what do you think?
Would you like to talk?
…
Oh!
One final thing.
I nearly forgot the most important part of my announcement.
Something that deserves to be said with all the confidence I can possibly muster.
I’ve considered my interests.
Examined my qualifications.
Prepared my invitation.
And determined that what I have to offer is—
Out of this world!
Yes!
There it is!
The perfect closing line.
Although I suppose somebody might ask which world.
Earth?
Jupiter?
Neptune?
Uranus?
…
Uranus.
Oh, that’s wonderful.
What an unfortunate name for a perfectly respectable planet.
I was trying to make a sophisticated impression.
And now I’m laughing.
How embarrassing.
Actually, no.
Not embarrassing at all.
If you laughed, too?
I think we might get along.
ENDING: Want to talk?