What/ever… (1-8) – Commentary

This one is a shot glass, not a full drink.

Eight words, four lines, and it’s basically a whole anxiety spiral disguised as a haiku.

The shape of overthinking

What was, What is.

What happens before, What happens after.

What might be, What will be.

What now?

You can almost feel the brain doing laps:

  1. Past
  2. Present
  3. Cause & effect
  4. Future
  5. …and then slamming into the wall of now.
    ⠀
    This is the “Headache Collective” energy:
  • too many tabs open,
  • too many timelines running,
  • not enough oxygen in the current moment.

It’s the same mental pattern that shows up in kink, relationships, dynamics:

  • “What were they like before me?”
  • “What are we now?”
  • “What happens if I give more?”
  • “What happens if they leave?”
  • “Could this be forever?”
  • “Is this already doomed?”
  • “Okay but… what do I actually do today?”

The piece doesn’t answer any of that.

On purpose.

Why it’s so short

Cycle I has a few of these pressure-valve posts:

  • not instructions,
  • not full confessions,
  • just a snapshot of how a certain flavor of brain feels.

This one is:

  • the moment before the big decision,
  • the pause between messages,
  • the mental white noise you get when you’ve thought something to death and still have to move anyway.

No moral. No big “aha.” Just:

“Time is doing cartwheels and my head hurts.”

Sometimes that’s the most honest thing you can say.

Where it sits in the bigger project

Later pieces (especially in Cycle II) go deep into:

  • dynamics,
  • bodies,
  • submission,
  • identity.

This one is closer to a loading screen:

  • “Yes, I overthink.”
  • “Yes, I live in past/future way too much.”
  • “No, that doesn’t magically stop just because I’m a Dom or older or ‘experienced.’”

It’s a reminder that under all the titles and theory, there’s still just:

you, in a room, with your brain, trying to figure out what the fuck comes next.

If you’ve ever stared at your phone, your ceiling, or someone’s message and felt your head fill up with every tense of the same question?

This tiny piece is that moment, pinned.

Sometimes the most important move isn’t:

“What was / is / will be?”

It’s just:

“Okay. Now what?”

And that’s where all the real work — and all the real kink — actually starts.

Cycle I – Coming on Strong · 08 · Commentary (v1.00)

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