About THE HOUSE OF ZAN
THE HOUSE OF ZAN is for people whose kink doesn’t disappear just because the scene is over.
This is an 18+ space, by design — for adults who can think for themselves and live with the consequences of what they do with what they read here.
It’s a place for those who live with a low, constant hum of power exchange in the background – the ones who can’t neatly separate who they are from what they are to someone else.
The House is built on a few core obsessions:
- how power, care and duty can coexist
- how trauma, memory and erasure shape the way we love and submit
- how devotion, control and responsibility can structure a life, not just a night
- how D/s can become part of a nervous system, not just scene play
THE HOUSE OF ZAN exists for people who treat kink as a lens on everything else: work, love, healing, purpose, self-worth. It’s not about chasing the next extreme; it’s about understanding why we’re pulled to these dynamics in the first place – and what we build out of them.
What you’ll find here:
- essays and fragments about D/s as a way of structuring a life, not just a bedroom
- kink from the emotional side first: what the mind feels, not just the body
- dissections of red-flag Dom behavior and the dogma that harms people
- meditations on memory, right-to-be-forgotten, and that “party after everyone’s gone” feeling
- the occasional invitation to step closer – carefully, deliberately, with your eyes open
THE HOUSE OF ZAN is a library, a signal fire, and, for a few people, a doorway into something they’ve been circling for years without language.
About Zan
My self-appointed role is that of Head of House.
The titles that fit me best are Master, Head of Household, Protector – and, whether it looks that way from the outside or not, very much Daddy-coded. I’m the one who holds the frame, takes responsibility for the structure, and shields what’s inside it. Head doesn’t mean perfect or always right; it means I’m the one who tries to stay accountable when things get messy.
I’ve spent over 25 years moving through most corners of this lifestyle — online and offline, soft and brutal, romantic and transactional. I don’t talk about everything I’ve done, and I don’t like every space I’ve walked through, but I understand the map even where I no longer live.
I don’t use this lifestyle to run away from the outside world. I use it to enrich it – for myself, and for the people who choose to live under my influence.
Structure & Stability
I offer structure and stability.
That means that if we’re in a dynamic, I will tell you what to do and how to do it. I aim to make it make sense, keep it grounded in reality, and adjust when life proves a plan wrong. The goal isn’t to micromanage; it’s to build routines, rules and rituals that change your life for the better in ways you can see, feel and validate.
I may be many things to you, but I will never treat you like a disposable experiment.
Those who want to be controlled or owned often live with a kind of aimlessness. If you feel driven to give yourself to someone, there’s usually a gap – in resources, in knowledge, in motivation, or in belief that you’re allowed to live differently.
Through years of one-on-one dynamics, I’ve learned to identify and analyze those blocks. With a willing submissive or slave, I can help address many of them and install a personalized structure that serves us both. I aim for foundations of stone, not a paper-thin deck of cards.
Purpose & Meaning
I offer purpose and meaning.
If we are right for each other, you will feel a drive to follow my lead. You’ll apply yourself in ways you couldn’t access alone, and – if this life is truly yours – you’ll love it. You’ll often understand yourself and the world around you in ways you couldn’t access from outside a dynamic.
At my core, I’m a realist. I know there is a world outside of kink. I don’t indulge in this to avoid that world; I pursue it to escape the status quo and build something better alongside it.
I believe in preservation and happiness for myself, and for those who submit to me. I build that into your pathwork: not as empty affirmations, but as habits, structures and perspectives that let you live differently.
If You’re Considering Submission to Me
This House is open to many. I am not.
I consider everyone equal until they surrender themselves to me completely, and I consciously accept that weight.
If we never get that far, we can still have something meaningful: a conversation, an insight, the feeling of being seen by someone who understands this maze. I offer myself as mentor, philosopher, and sometimes simply another honest, damaged human – to those I believe can benefit from it.
What I ask of anyone who thinks of submitting to me:
- honesty about who you are and what you want
- consistent, straight-forward communication, even when it’s messy
- respect for my time, energy and other commitments
- a genuine desire to live this as a lifestyle, not weekend cosplay
I can give you what you want – if you can do the same for me. Strip away the hyperbole and aesthetics of kink, and that’s where we meet.
This is not a fetish gateway, not a shortcut to sex and not an excuse to cause harm. If we chain ourselves together, then for as long as we choose to keep that chain in place, this is our life.
I’ve stepped in and out of public view more than once. Hiding never made this need go away; building something honest does.
If you read this and it feels less like fantasy and more like recognition, you’re welcome to step closer.
Just understand: this is more than “personal exposure.”
If you’re wondering what “stepping closer” actually looks like, read Disclaimer & Ground Rules, I Am Not Your Role Model, and How to Engage with the House.
Companion track: “The Time is Now” – Moloko