Cherry Poppin’ subspace-channel (Virgin Sexy)… (2-4) – Commentary

Commentary (The Receipt)

If you’re here, you’ve probably already read Cherry Poppin’ subspace (Virgin Sexy)… and thought some version of:

“Oh. He’s talking about a room I’ve been in”

Also not wrong.

This one lives in that awkward overlap between funny, uncomfortable, and uncomfortably accurate — especially if you’ve ever sat in a kink server wondering if you’re the only one quietly faking how “experienced” you are.

Virgin to the life you’re performing

This piece is about a very specific kind of “virgin” nobody really names:

Not just “never had sex.”

Virgin to the life you’re already posting like you’ve mastered.

You can have:

  • zero scenes under your belt
  • zero real-time dynamics
  • zero practical experience

…and still be fully, painfully, deliciously lit up by the idea of all of it.

That’s “virgin sexy” to me:

  • Your body is already writing novels.
  • Your brain is running fanfic and porn playlists on loop.
  • Your actual history is… a couple of fumbled hookups, some sexting, and way too many tabs open.

And because we’re human, the ego steps in and goes:

“Cool, let’s just act like we’ve been here for years.”

I’m not dragging that. I’ve been there. A bunch of us have.

I’m just saying it out loud so you don’t have to pretend.

Safe pods vs purity tests

A big part of why I wrote this is to say: safe spaces aren’t the problem.

I like the pods.

Private servers where subs compare notes, share red-flag stories, and talk each other out of walking into the same fire twice? I want those to exist. I’m honored when I get invited. When I show up, it’s not to kick doors in and be “that Dom” — it’s to listen, learn, and, if it fits, add a little more nuance.

Where it starts to go sideways is when:

  • one person’s trauma
  • one person’s politics
  • one person’s preference

hardens into the rule.

“Doms without references are unsafe.”

“Daddies need a full background check.”

“Masters are all abusive egotists.”

Those all come from real pain.

But when they get treated like commandments, not one person’s boundary, the quiet, new, still-learning folks in the middle start to believe there’s only one “correct” way to be safe, and everything else is deviant, selfish, or stupid.

That’s how you end up with pods that start as safety… and end up as purity tests.

Subs, littles, slaves: roles, not cosplay

The sections about subs, littles, and slaves are me being very explicit about something I’ve watched up close for a long time:

  • Subs being told they’re irresponsible if they don’t demand a reference sheet like they’re hiring a nanny.
  • Littles being treated like toddlers instead of adults who consciously choose that soft, small headspace.
  • Slaves being told their wiring is “internalized misogyny” or “male ego bait,” instead of what it actually is for some of them: the only structure that’s ever made their nervous system calm down.

I’m not theorizing that from the outside. I’ve held those roles from the other side — Dom, Daddy, Master — for years. I’ve listened to the late-night calls. I’ve stayed up while someone shakes through a crash. I’ve seen what happens when someone who needs deep structure finally gets it, and what happens when someone who only wanted the aesthetic tries to play at owning a life.

So when I say things like:

“We’re talking about roles, not jobs. This isn’t HR.”

or

“Your little-world isn’t silly; it’s one of the most honest places you have.”

or

“For some people, ‘Master’ isn’t a cosplay word — it’s the only thing that’s ever made their nervous system unclench.”

that’s not me defending a title.

That’s me defending the people who live and breathe inside those titles.

The message underneath it is simple:

You’re allowed to be new and still be taken seriously.

You’re allowed to want depth without being treated like a victim.

You’re allowed to choose total surrender without being treated like a lost cause.

Why the title looks like that

On the title: “Cherry Poppin’ subspace”

That’s a little love letter to a different era of obsession.

Cherry Poppin’ Daddies were this weird, fun splice of punk and swing — very “we’re doing the most, loudly, in suits.” One big hit, sure, but they had this whole catalog that mashed aesthetics together in a way that shouldn’t work and kind of did.

That’s how a lot of kink culture can sometimes feel:

  • a little cringe
  • a little extra
  • a little try-hard

…and somehow, when the right people are in the room, it becomes its own beautiful, chaotic ecosystem.

Putting “subspace” in lowercase is another nerd move:

  • It’s how a lot of people write it online — almost like a nickname.
  • It also nods at the way modern songs and artists title things in all lower case to make it feel casual, intimate, almost like you just tripped over a diary entry.

“Virgin Sexy” as the song title, “Virgin Sexy” as the piece title — it all lives in that space between loud teen bravado and quiet adult experience.

What this piece is really saying

Big picture, this commentary is my way of saying:

I’m not here to burn down your servers, your safe spaces, your group chats, or the rules you’ve made that actually work for you.

I’m here as the guy who:

  • loves subspace
  • respects littles
  • believes in slaves who need full surrender
  • still likes watching the pods from the inside

…and wants you to have language for the parts that never quite felt right, even when everyone around you swore they were “just how things are now.”

If this lands for you, good.

If it makes you a little pissed and a little relieved at the same time, even better.

That’s usually what it feels like when someone finally says the thing you’ve been side-eying in your own head.

On the companion track: “Virgin Sexy” – Sugababes

Let’s be honest: the song is a little cringe.

The band name is a little cringe.

There’s literally a line about being “scared like Freddy” — as in Krueger, knife-fingers and nightmare fuel — and it’s delivered with full pop swagger.

But that’s exactly why it fits.

The track is this perfect little time capsule of:

  • bragging you’re “ready”
  • flexing sexual confidence
  • clearly still operating from a not-quite-lived-it-yet headspace

It sounds like someone insisting they know exactly what they’re doing, loudly, over a beat… when half of what they really know is the fantasy.

That’s early kink and early sexuality for a lot of people:

  • You talk bigger than your history.
  • You feel way more than you can explain.
  • You’re both excited and scared, and you cover the scared with volume.

Real experience tends to get quieter.

Not boring — just more aware of what it can break.

So pairing this piece with that song is deliberate:

  • The song is all boast and bounce and “I got this.”
  • The writing is me saying, “I see that energy. I’ve had that energy. Let’s also talk about where it can get you hurt if no one ever hands you a different script.”

If “Virgin Sexy” is the soundtrack of the fantasy, this piece is the liner notes written ten or twenty years later.

Cycle II – Coming of Age · 04 · Commentary (v1.00)

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