Great Expectations… (1-3) – Commentary

If you’ve read Great Expectations…, you’ve basically watched me take one of the most chaotic parts of kink:

“I want something… I think… from someone… I think…”

and try to hand it a clipboard.

The whole piece is built around this slide:

concept → urge → reality → nightmare

and me going, “Okay, how do we interrupt that before you’re crying on a bathroom floor because you picked the wrong sadist to ‘teach’ you?”

Concept → Urge → Reality → Nightmare

The opening is simple on purpose:

Sometimes… a concept can become an urge.
That urge can lead into a reality.
That reality can become a nightmare.

That’s kink math:

  1. You get a fantasy in your head.
  2. Your body signs off on it.
  3. You find someone willing.
  4. Nobody asked, “Is this the right person for this role?”

This piece is my way of saying:

“Before you chase the vibe, figure out what chair you’re actually trying to sit someone in.”

Hence:

  • Role Analysis
  • Measured Expectations

Boring titles on purpose. It’s like putting hi-vis tape on a tripwire.

Role Analysis = “What do I actually need?”

This section is me gently bullying you toward clarity.

Instead of:

  • “I want a Dom,”
  • “I want a sub,”

I push it into:

  • Do you actually need:
    • a friend?
    • a mentor?
    • a partner?
    • a sadist?
    • a stalker? (please no, but if you’re fantasizing it, at least name it)

The cannibalism → “maybe you just want a hamburger” line is a joke, but it hides a real point:

Are you craving the fantasy version of someone…
when what you really want is something simpler, safer, more human?

Then there’s the example:

“If you are a younger individual with no background in the lifestyle,
and you need a more personal one-on-one,
you may want to be seeking a mentor instead of a lifelong sadist.”

That’s the heart of it:

  • Most people don’t ruin their lives because they had a desire.
  • They ruin their lives because they cast the wrong person in the wrong role at the wrong time.

The “buttholes don’t always tighten back up” line is deliberately crude:

  • It gets a laugh.
  • It also makes a very real point: some consequences don’t fully rewind.

The pun:

“not always what hole you want to have filled the fastest. Sorry, role.”

is the thesis in one sentence:

Slow down. Choose the role first. Then the body. Then the scene.

Measured Expectations = “Can this person actually pull it off?”

Once you know the role you’re looking for, the piece shifts into:

“When you are connecting with someone that seems to fit your role type,
it’s helpful to have a clear, realistic perspective of whether this person can actually meet your expectations of them and vice versa.”

This is the part nobody wants to do because it’s not sexy:

  • vetting
  • clarity
  • asking questions
  • saying what you actually want

You get lines like:

“Since everybody (yes, everybody) lies or hides something…”

Not “everyone is evil,” just:

  • everyone curates,
  • everyone presents,
  • everyone hides the parts they’re scared will scare you.

So I push:

  • be upfront, be clear, don’t interrogate, unless interrogation is the kink
  • let people know:
    • what you’re wanting
    • what you’re not available for

That keeps it in my lane:

  • consent-first,
  • still horny,
  • still playful,
  • not suddenly a HR manual.

The ending: classifieds, “fun-time slaves,” Alienism

The last section flips everything on its head:

“Now that that’s out of the way, time to find the perfect role-mate for myself…”

Then I drop:

  • “feminine, fun-time slaves”
  • “closed, one-sided poly relationships”
  • “must be open to Alienism”

It’s half-joke, half-confession:

  • I’m not above this system.
  • I also have very specific wants.
  • I’m doing exactly what I just told you to do: naming the role and the expectations out loud.

“Alienism” is a deliberately weird ask:

  • It signals: my world is not vanilla.
  • It’s also a subtle filter: if that word makes you curious instead of scared, you’re likely “my people.”

So the piece doesn’t end as a sermon. It ends as:

“See? I’m in this marketplace with you.
I just want you to stop walking in blindfolded.”

How this fits the larger body of work

This post is an early skeleton key for a lot of what comes later:

  • I keep coming back to:
    • devotion,
    • House roles,
    • subs / littles / slaves,
    • responsibility,
    • long-form power exchange.
  • Here, I’m laying foundational rules:
    1. Know what role you’re actually shopping for.
    2. Don’t confuse fantasy intensity with actual capacity.
    3. Expectations are a shared contract, not a secret wish list.

If you felt:

  • a little called out by the “what hole vs what role” line, and
  • a little seen by the idea that you’re allowed to want something specific

—then this piece did its job.

I’m not trying to stop you from wanting intense, wild, or fucked-up things.

I’m trying to keep those wants from turning into nightmares
just because you never stopped to ask:

“What do I actually need them to be in my life?”

Cycle I – Coming on Strong · 03 · Commentary (v1.00)

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