Cycle I: Coming on Strong
The Hidden Voice
Record ~ Kawaii · 25 (v1.00)
THE HOUSE OF ZAN — Zan
♡ FRUITS ZIPPER — NEW KAWAII
OPENING: 誰が決めたの？
I have something important to tell you.
Oh!
Don’t look so worried.
It’s nothing terrible.
Actually, I think it’s rather wonderful.
You see…
I chose this ribbon myself.
…
What?
You were expecting something else?
A magnificent announcement?
An extraordinary revelation?
Perhaps something involving the fate of the universe?
Goodness.
Such expectations.
It’s a very pretty ribbon.
And look!
There’s a tiny star on it.
A STAR!
Isn’t it lovely?
I had another one picked out.
Pink.
Very pretty.
But this one has the star.
So, naturally…
THE STAR WINS!
(๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧
A perfectly reasonable decision.
Made by a perfectly reasonable woman.
…
All right.
Perhaps it isn’t a particularly important decision.
Not to the universe.
Not to history.
Not to anybody who doesn’t care about little ribbons.
But I care.
And I got to choose.
…
Actually, that’s what I wanted to tell you.
Not about the ribbon.
Although it really is lovely.
I chose this, too.
The colors.
The little things I get excited about.
The ridiculous jokes.
The things I think are beautiful.
The way I sometimes become completely unreasonable over something adorable.
Especially cats.
Oh!
MEOW-MEOWS!
ฅ(＾・ω・＾ฅ)
Those tiny paws!
Those serious little faces!
The way they look at you as though you’ve interrupted a very important meeting!
How is anybody supposed to remain composed?
It’s impossible.
Completely impossible.
…
But perhaps you’ve wondered something about me.
Is she always like this?
Always cheerful?
Always finding something wonderful?
…
No.
Of course not.
Sometimes I’m tired.
Sometimes I’m disappointed.
Sometimes I don’t particularly feel like being charming.
Imagine that.
Me!
Not charming!
A truly extraordinary situation.
But it happens.
And I can’t simply decide that every day will be wonderful.
I can’t choose the weather.
I can’t choose what everybody thinks of me.
I can’t make happiness appear whenever I want it.
If I could, I’d have arranged a much more convenient system.
Possibly involving a little pink button.
With a star.
…
I would press it constantly.
(☆▽☆)
But that’s not how it works.
I know that.
And I don’t want to pretend otherwise.
I don’t have to be happy to be myself.
I don’t have to smile when I don’t want to.
I don’t have to make everything seem lovely.
And I certainly don’t have to let somebody else decide what happiness is supposed to look like on me.
How presumptuous!
I’ll decide that for myself.
Thank you very much.
…
You know something?
I could be very different.
I could be serious.
Quiet.
Reserved.
I could keep my little enthusiasms to myself.
I could pretend not to care about things that seem silly.
I could make absolutely certain that nobody ever catches me doing something ridiculous.
…
Well.
That sounds rather boring.
But I could.
And sometimes I might want to.
There’s nothing wrong with being serious.
Or quiet.
Or wanting a little privacy.
Those are choices, too.
But I don’t want to spend my life becoming somebody I don’t particularly want to be simply because somebody else might approve.
Especially somebody with dreadful taste in ribbons.
Honestly.
There are limits.
…
Oh.
You’ve become awfully quiet.
Did I surprise you?
I suppose I can be a little more serious than you expected.
I do have other things to think about, you know.
Other things to say.
Other parts of myself I haven’t shown you.
I’m not entirely made of ribbons and ridiculous enthusiasm.
Although that would be quite an achievement.
…
Do you remember Shin-chan?
That mischievous little boy?
His ridiculous dancing?
THE BUTT DANCE!
ヾ(≧▽≦*)o
Goodness.
What an afternoon.
And there I was.
Laughing.
Getting excited.
Making an absolute spectacle of myself.
Right in front of you.
…
Do you know what I was thinking?
I knew exactly how ridiculous I looked.
Exactly.
I knew you could see me.
I knew you might laugh.
And I did it anyway.
Not because I didn’t understand.
Because I did.
And I wanted to.
…
I think that’s something you should know about me.
I’ve never needed you to believe I’m incapable of being serious.
I’ve never needed you to think the world is always wonderful.
And I certainly haven’t needed you to mistake my enthusiasm for a lack of understanding.
I know there’s more to life than the things I find cute.
Of course there is.
But I don’t see why knowing that should require me to stop enjoying them.
Why should I put away everything lovely simply to prove that I know other things exist?
What a strange requirement.
I don’t think I’ll be accepting it.
…
You see…
I wanted you to know me this way.
With my ridiculous little interests.
My opinions.
My curiosity.
My terrible habit of becoming completely distracted by something adorable.
With the things that make me laugh.
And the things I think are worth sharing.
Not because they’re all I am.
Because they’re part of who I am.
And when I had the opportunity to show you something of myself…
This is what I chose.
…
Perhaps I should have told you that when we first said hello.
But I think I wanted you to meet me before I tried to explain myself.
I wanted you to know what I was like.
To hear my ridiculous ideas.
To see what made me excited.
To find out whether you enjoyed spending time with me.
And perhaps…
To discover something about me that I hadn’t actually said.
…
Oh, goodness.
Listen to me.
I’m becoming terribly sentimental.
How embarrassing.
…
No.
Actually…
I’m not embarrassed.
I meant it.
Every word.
And I don’t think I want to hide that behind a joke.
Not this time.
…
There’s something I’ve been thinking about.
Something rather simple.
Freedom is having a choice.
Power is making a decision.
And consequences?
…
Those are part of living freely.
I don’t get to make every decision.
Nobody does.
And making a choice doesn’t mean everything will turn out the way I hoped.
Sometimes I’ll get things wrong.
Sometimes I’ll have to take responsibility for that.
Sometimes I’ll discover that something I wanted isn’t what I want anymore.
And then?
I’ll choose again.
Not because every choice is easy.
Not because every consequence is pleasant.
But because when the choice belongs to me, I want to be the one who makes it.
Even when it’s small.
Especially when it’s small.
…
A ribbon.
A color.
A silly little preference.
A decision about what I want to show the world.
Such tiny things.
But how many of them would I have to surrender before I stopped recognizing myself?
…
I don’t think I want to find out.
No.
I know I don’t.
So I’m going to keep choosing.
The things I enjoy.
The things I believe in.
The things I want to try.
The things I might change my mind about tomorrow.
And whenever I have the opportunity…
The things that make life a little more beautiful to me.
…
I suppose that’s why I wanted to talk to you today.
You’ve seen me be silly.
You’ve seen me get excited.
You’ve seen me fuss over little things that probably didn’t matter to anybody else.
And now you’ve seen me be serious.
Just for a moment.
I hope you understand that neither one is a performance I’m trapped inside.
I can be more than one thing.
And I don’t need to apologize for any of them.
…
I choose to be cute.
Not because that’s all I know how to be.
Not because the world has always been lovely.
Not because happiness is something I can demand.
Because when the choice is mine, I want to make something lovely of it.
That’s all.
And perhaps that’s everything I wanted you to know.
…
Oh!
Look at me.
I’ve been talking for ages.
I have a great many ridiculous things left to do.
And an extraordinary collection of little things that deserve my attention.
But I wanted you to hear that.
Without rushing.
Without pretending it was nothing.
Because it matters to me.
And you’ve been here long enough that I wanted to share it with you.
…
I hope you’ve enjoyed getting to know me.
I really do.
I hope I’ve made you laugh.
Perhaps I’ve surprised you.
Perhaps we’ve simply enjoyed spending a little time together.
I’d like that, too.
And if there’s one thing I hope you remember about me…
It’s that you didn’t meet somebody who had never considered being anything else.
You met somebody who could have chosen a thousand different ways to introduce herself.
…
And I chose this one.
…
Now.
Shall we go?
It’s a beautiful little afternoon.
Or perhaps it isn’t.
We’ll find out.
Either way, I’d like to see what’s waiting outside.
You’re welcome to come with me.
You don’t have to wear anything special.
You don’t even have to be in a particularly wonderful mood.
I’ll bring my ribbon.
You can bring yourself.
…
Oh!
One last thing.
I know the little star is slightly crooked.
I noticed.
I could straighten it.
It would take approximately three seconds.
…
But I rather like it this way.
So I’m leaving it.
ENDING: Who decided?