Cycle I: Coming on Strong
The Hidden Voice
Record ~ Kawaii · 13 (v1.00)
THE HOUSE OF ZAN — Zan
♡ YUC’e — Future Cαndy
OPENING: これでよかった？
I WANT SOMETHING SPECIAL!
There.
I said it.
Something wonderful.
Something exciting.
Something that makes me feel as though I’ve discovered exactly what I’ve been looking for.
Preferably something nobody else has.
…
Actually, wait.
If nobody else has it, how am I supposed to know whether it’s any good?
Perhaps somebody else should have it first.
Just so I can check.
BUT NOT TOO MANY PEOPLE!
Then it wouldn’t be special anymore.
Hmm.
This is already becoming complicated.
And I haven’t even started looking.
Wonderful!
I love an adventure.
Especially one that begins with unreasonable expectations.
Which brings me to something I’ve been thinking about.
Candy!
Oh, I love candy.
So many colors!
So many flavors!
So many adorable little packages promising extraordinary things!
You walk into a candy shop, and suddenly the entire world is full of possibilities.
Chocolate!
Strawberry!
Peach!
Something mysterious and purple!
WHAT’S THE PURPLE ONE?!
(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و
I must know!
Perhaps it’s grape.
Perhaps it’s blueberry.
Perhaps it’s a flavor nobody has ever experienced before.
Excellent!
I’ll take one!
Actually…
Maybe two.
Just in case.
But then I notice something.
There are seventeen other flavors.
And an entire wall of special editions.
And another display promising that the candy I was about to purchase isn’t nearly as exciting as the candy directly beside it.
…
Oh, no.
I’ve made a terrible mistake.
I thought I knew what I wanted.
Apparently, I was only beginning to understand how many things I could want.
That’s different.
Very different.
Because if I choose the purple candy, I won’t be choosing the pink candy.
Or the blue candy.
Or the mysterious golden candy that costs three times as much and comes with absolutely no explanation.
BUT IT’S GOLDEN!
(✧ω✧)
Surely that means something.
Perhaps it’s the best candy in the entire shop.
Perhaps it’s terrible.
Perhaps somebody simply discovered that people will pay more for something if you wrap it in shiny paper.
…
How suspicious.
I should investigate.
Immediately.
After I finish investigating the purple one.
And the strawberry one.
And the limited-edition one.
And—
WAIT!
What did I come here for?
Oh.
Right.
Candy.
That certainly narrows things down.
There are only approximately ten thousand possibilities.
HOW HELPFUL!
(＠_＠;)
Getting to know somebody can begin to resemble walking through a very peculiar shopping center.
Everybody has an introduction.
Everybody has preferences.
Everybody seems to know exactly what they’re looking for.
At least, that’s what they say.
Somebody wants an interesting person.
Somebody wants a quiet person.
Somebody wants somebody exciting, but not too exciting.
Somebody wants somebody mysterious, but also expects them to explain absolutely everything.
And somebody apparently wants a person who is spontaneous, predictable, adventurous, sensible, independent, attentive, available, and never inconvenient.
…
GOOD LUCK!
Perhaps they should try the golden candy.
It seems equally realistic.
Now, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with knowing what you enjoy.
I have preferences!
Some of them quite specific.
But the more carefully I build my perfect-person checklist, the less attention I might pay to the actual person standing in front of me.
I could meet somebody genuinely interesting and start checking boxes before they’ve even finished saying hello.
Imagine having a little checklist.
Funny.
Thoughtful.
Likes my favorite music.
Can tolerate lengthy explanations about candy.
Does not question my candy purchases.
PERFECT!
I’ll take three!
…
No.
I’m the one who started comparing everybody to candy.
…
MOVING ON!
There’s another problem.
The more choices I see, the more I begin wondering whether there’s something better just around the corner.
Perhaps I’ve found somebody interesting.
We have a wonderful conversation.
They make me laugh.
They have unusual interests.
And they seem genuinely interested in mine.
How lovely!
I should probably enjoy that.
But what if somebody else is even more interesting?
What if somebody else likes more of the same things?
What if another person has an even more impressive collection of obscure hobbies?
What if somebody somewhere has all those qualities and an enormous gothic castle?
…
A CASTLE?!
(⊙▽⊙)
Well, now we’re talking.
Although they might have terrible furniture.
I’ve had concerns about that before.
But here’s what bothers me.
I could spend so much time wondering whether there’s somebody better that I forget to appreciate somebody I already enjoy knowing.
Not because there’s anything wrong with them.
Simply because there might be another possibility.
Somewhere.
Doing something.
Possibly in a castle.
And how am I supposed to know whether I’ve found something worthwhile if I haven’t investigated every other possibility first?
EVERY SINGLE ONE!
There are billions of people!
This could take all afternoon!
…
But suppose I somehow managed to meet everybody.
Would I finally know what I wanted?
Or would I simply have billions of different things to compare?
Oh.
That’s an unpleasant thought.
Because now I’m beginning to suspect that having more choices doesn’t necessarily make choosing easier.
Sometimes it makes choosing feel more important.
As though selecting one possibility means losing everything I haven’t selected.
And suddenly, instead of enjoying the purple candy, I’m wondering whether the strawberry candy could have changed my entire life.
WHAT IF IT WAS MAGNIFICENT?!
What if it was the greatest candy ever made?!
What if future generations discuss my failure to select it?!
Here lies a girl who chose purple.
She never discovered strawberry.
HOW TRAGIC!
(ಥ_ಥ)
…
Actually, that’s ridiculous.
I like purple.
It’s a perfectly respectable choice.
And if I spend every moment imagining how wonderful the other flavors might be, I’ll never enjoy the one I have.
It’ll just sit there.
Getting warm.
Possibly melting.
While I stand in front of another display wondering whether there’s a better one.
Congratulations!
I’ve successfully turned a pleasant afternoon into an administrative emergency.
Perhaps I should establish a committee.
No.
Absolutely not.
I know what would happen.
The committee would demand additional research.
Then somebody would question the research.
And eventually we’d all be standing in a candy shop arguing about whether choosing candy is even appropriate.
JUST PICK SOMETHING!
…
Oh.
Listen to me.
Giving instructions.
Very confident.
Very decisive.
How impressive!
Especially considering I’ve been standing here for an unreasonable amount of time without purchasing anything.
Perhaps I’m not quite as good at this as I imagined.
Do I know what I want?
I can tell you what looks interesting.
I can tell you what sounds exciting.
I can even produce a magnificent list of everything I believe would make something worthwhile.
BEHOLD!
My carefully organized expectations!
Very professional.
Color-coded, naturally.
But if somebody asked me which things actually mattered most, I might have to think about it.
For quite a while.
Because some things are enjoyable to imagine but considerably less enjoyable to experience.
And some things that don’t sound particularly exciting at first become wonderful once you actually get to know them.
That’s inconvenient.
I was hoping everything would arrive with an accurate description.
Excellent personality.
Occasionally stubborn.
Unexpectedly funny.
May introduce you to interests you didn’t know existed.
Warning: Has opinions.
Perfect!
Very informative.
Although perhaps I’d need a label of my own.
Let’s see.
Interesting.
Enthusiastic.
Asks a lot of questions.
Occasionally unreasonable.
Easily distracted by candy.
Requires compliments.
…
No.
That last one makes me sound demanding.
Perhaps:
Responds well to praise.
Much better!
But somebody could read that label and imagine an entirely different person from the one I actually am.
And then become disappointed when they discover I don’t behave exactly as advertised.
How annoying.
Especially if I wrote the advertisement.
WHO APPROVED THIS DESCRIPTION?!
…
Oh.
Right.
Me.
(￣▽￣;)
That complicates matters.
Yet everybody seems so certain about what they’re looking for.
There are introductions, photographs, and carefully chosen descriptions.
Declarations about everything people want and everything they absolutely refuse to consider.
And after all that, everybody still seems to be looking.
Hello?
I’m over here!
…
Actually, never mind.
I was looking at something else, too.
How embarrassing.
Imagine two people who might genuinely enjoy getting to know each other.
Both surrounded by possibilities.
Both convinced there’s something extraordinary waiting just beyond whatever they’re currently considering.
And neither noticing the other because they’re too busy examining the selection.
…
I suspect it happens.
But there’s another possibility.
What if somebody doesn’t know exactly what they want because they haven’t experienced it yet?
What if the thing they eventually value most isn’t something they would have known to request?
I have opinions about music.
And candy.
And mysterious castles.
And the appropriate number of decorative bats.
Seven.
Seven is tasteful.
Eight is excessive.
Don’t argue with me.
But perhaps I don’t need to know everything about what I want before I begin discovering it.
And perhaps somebody else doesn’t, either.
That doesn’t mean I should abandon my preferences.
Or pretend everything is equally wonderful.
Obviously, some candy is terrible.
I’ve conducted research.
Extensive research!
But maybe there’s a difference between knowing what matters to me and pretending I can predict every possibility worth considering.
…
Oh.
How sophisticated!
I’ve discovered something!
I’ve learned that there are too many choices, everybody is confused, and I might be contributing to the problem.
EXCELLENT!
This has been a very productive afternoon.
I should probably write a book.
A magnificent guide!
Something that explains exactly how to recognize what you want.
How to find it.
How to avoid every disappointing possibility.
And how to discover the most extraordinary person in the entire world.
Naturally, I’d be extremely qualified.
After all, I’ve spent hours examining the subject.
I’ve considered the options.
I’ve questioned my assumptions.
I’ve even developed a comprehensive understanding of candy.
I’M PRACTICALLY AN EXPERT!
So.
Would you like to know my secret?
The extraordinary method I’ve discovered?
The one that will explain how to choose correctly, recognize something worthwhile, and never become confused by all these possibilities again?
…
Of course you would!
Excellent.
I’m very pleased.
Because I’m about to explain everything.
Every detail.
Every magnificent revelation.
Prepare yourself.
ARE YOU READY?!
…
Actually.
No.
I’ve changed my mind.
I’m getting the purple candy.
BYE!
ENDING: Was this the right choice?