Cycle I: Coming on Strong
The Hidden Voice
The Hidden Girl · 20 (v2.00)
THE HOUSE OF ZAN — Zan
Playlist Track: Rina Sawayama — “Comme des Garçons (Like the Boys)”
The side account is not secret because of what is on it.
Nothing is on it.
She made it for photographs that felt too deliberate for her usual profile. There were posts for a while. Then she deleted them and started saving drafts instead.
The person she pinned asks whether she has ever thought about showing more of this side of herself.
She tells him about the account as if it is funny.
He asks to see it.
She sends a screen recording instead of a link, opening a draft to show him what she meant. The recording also catches the unfinished bio and the other drafts she forgot were there.
His advice comes quickly.
Post the darker photograph. Remove the sentence apologizing for being unsure. Use fewer words.
He wants one more interest made public on the site too.
She switches between his messages and the two profiles, making each change.
The phone asks her to save.
She does.
The first post is a photograph she nearly used somewhere else. Most of her is outside the frame. The caption is shorter than the ones she wrote herself.
He tells her not to explain it.
She posts.
People begin finding the account.
The numbers are small, but they move whenever she refreshes. New messages arrive from people who sound as if the photograph told them more than it did.
Every new view makes his taste look less like an opinion and more like something he knows.
On the site, an unread message from the nearly empty profile asks what happened to the joke she took out of her bio.
She answers, “it didn’t fit anymore.”
He says he thought it was funny.
She reacts to the message and returns to the side account.
The darker photograph is on the grid. The apology is gone from the bio.
The first version of her strangers see is the one the person she pinned helped arrange.
He writes, “Better.”
The view count moves again, as if the phone agrees with him.
She closes the account and watches his conversation instead.