Welcome to THE HOUSE OF ZAN

If you stay, you’re walking into a space built on kink, structure, and devotion — not just porn brain and vibes. Everything here is 18+ and meant for adults who can think, feel, and take responsibility for what they do with what hits them.

You don’t have to know what you want yet. You just have to know that something in you woke up reading this, and you’re curious enough to keep going.

This page will guide you in your first steps—if you choose to take them.



1 · Orientation – Read These First

If you’re brand new and want to know what you’re stepping into, start here:

  1. Disclaimer & Ground Rules
    What this House is not: therapy, crisis care, under-18 friendly. Where my responsibility ends and yours begins.
  2. The Foundation Beneath THE HOUSE
    The values underneath everything: why I’m here, what I’m trying to build, how I think about power, safety, and growth.
  3. I Am Not Your Role Model
    The “don’t put me on a pedestal” page. What I am, what I’m not, and why obsession is welcome but I’m not your savior.
  4. How to Engage with THE HOUSE
    How to actually talk to me: contact, boundaries, what I’m open to, and what I absolutely can’t be for you.
  5. About THE HOUSE & ZAN
    What the House is as a whole, what I mean by Head of House, and how I think about structure, purpose, and meaning in dynamics.

You can read out of order if you want.

If you want the clearest picture of who you’re dealing with, read them all.



2 · If You’re Here to Feel Something

These are good first essays if you want to know what my actual kink-brain feels like when it’s working:

Pick two or three that match where your brain is circling, then come back for the rest.



3 · If You’re Wondering “Am I Allowed to Talk to Him?”

Short answer: yes, if you’re:

  • 18+
  • basically functional in your own life
  • capable of respecting a “no,” a “not yet,” or silence

Then go read:

If you’re still restless after those, you’re probably in the right place.



4 · What You Can Expect From Here

If you stay with the House, you’ll see:

  • kink treated as a lens on life, not just a bedroom hobby
  • D/s written about like devotion and infrastructure, not just aesthetics
  • honest talk about mental health, trauma, obsession, and bad decisions
  • invitations to step closer that are intense and structured, not random chaos.

I’m not the villain of the scene. I’m also not its saint. I’m a man who’s been doing this for a long time, trying to write it and live it in a way that leaves people more whole, not less.

Start where you are.

Read what pulls at you.

Notice what it does to your body and your brain.

If, after all that, you still want to knock?

You’ll know which door to choose.

Companion track: “U,U,D,D,L,R,L,R,A,B,Select,Start” – Deftones